Saturday, November 8, 2008

"You are Ruining My Life." Sound familiar?

Most parents usually look forward to the end of the week; enjoying the weekend with their children! I  know I do, however, this weekend, like many others has already been doomed for us.  My son just stated, "you are ruining my life" in the loudest, cruelest tone of voice you can imagine. At least this time, he did not use the "f" bomb and I did not get any calls from the neighbors wondering if everything was okay over here!  Time and time again I attempt to create a fun weekend, with less structure than we have during the week, but without fail, each time I do so, he fails, but I have hope that he will one day be able to give me back some time, energy and emotional safety that he drains out of me daily.

Let me give you an example: today my son refused to go to his social skills group and instead decided to stay home, despite the fact he was well warned that I had a few things I had to get done today for a wedding I am going to in a few hours.  He was great on the errands; I took care of his needs by getting him his favorite lunch and allowing him to watch the same DVD he has watched 1000 times over and over again and I met my own needs of buying a new shirt and getting my nails done. He was respectful, on task and fun to be with all morning!

Then as soon as we got home, he became disrespectful, irresponsible and not fun to be around. He does best with a schedule, so I had him do 20 minutes of outside play to get some fresh air and exercise and then said he could play "pretend play" (his obsession at age 9). He could not handle the 20 minutes of outside play. He sat and clicked a wooden gun back and forth for 10 minutes. So after 10 minutes of watching this terrible stimming behavior, I gave him 3 choices to do (bike, catch or trampoline) he refused all 3 very loudly and so I very nicely chose an activity for  him...a bike ride around the neighborhood!  That is when I was told   "you are ruining my life" which was followed by 4 severe punches to my stomach and arms and a good old kick to the shins. Needless to say, he is now settled in his room reading and doing puzzles for the remainder of the time I am home. I am looking forward to when he will fix our relationship so we can enjoy the rest of our weekend together.


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